Ever notice how a lot of writers will demand reviews or something? Like they wont update until they receive a certain number of comments or page-views or whatever? Man, these people need to read 'A Journey from the Center to the Page' and figure out just why they're writing, because it certainly doesn't sound like they're doing it because the HAVE to.

So yeah, this brought up because I was recently asked why I'll continue to post and update multiple chapter fics when I only get like four or five reviews (sometimes I get less) for them.

Well one reason is that I need to write them, if I don't I'll likely be a bitch. Two is that I don't feel the need to receive constant praise from people. In fact sometimes I'm utterly devastated and embarrassed when I've discovered someone actually LIKED what I posted.

Some of my writing is written for the sole purpose of disgusting other people. Its solely for shock value, and will often be erotically disturbing. Like a zombie Danny devouring Dash during a blowjob or the Crypt Keeper in his various sexual endeavors you can find posted on most EuroGuro websites under my alternate pen name RinRose. (most of these sites are password protected and many require a subscription to enter their x-rated portion)

When I write something I enjoy it makes me so happy that other people like it, however I don't feel the need to write because other people like it, I feel the need to write because I'm a writer and writing, even hideous gorge rising child rape and alien necrophilia, is something I simply will not run away from.

Something people will do well to remember. Everyone is preaching nowadays. Everyone is trying to get everybody else to be on their side, to say no violence, no sex, no sordid behavior. I wrote a journal on y! about how beautiful a dance a duel is after watching my sister accept a challenge to a fight and end it in half a minute, I wrote about it, and someone told me I was barbaric. What ideal are they trying to live by? All that forced compassion, all that perceived virtue? Unalloyed goodness with no mixed motives of greed and self interest? People seem to think they can just squash all those dark feelings, shed their anger and resentment, banish their pain and frustration, but you can't. All you can do is suppress them. Find a dark corner in your mind to stick them in for a time out.

And like an unruly child, if you stick them in the corner, or ground them to their room, and forget them, leave them there, never let them out again, never deal with them. Just bottle it all up inside of you, it'll boil over. The child will run away, and so will your subconscious.

Its like old fashioned rock and roll, you think its all just loud music and growling barking lyrics, but the roll was an important part, smooth and sensuous, like the word used to describe it. Rollllllll, a counterpoint to the sharp rebelliousness that was rock. Beatles and the Rolling Stones knew this, even Metallica puts out softer music once in a while. But without that rigidity of the rock, how would you know the delight of the roll? How do you know whats inside you if you suppress it all the time? Do you even know what you're capable of?

In literature we have something called FreeWriting. Its a journal of sorts, but we never share it. Gail Godwin quoted Freud who once quoted Schiller, who I am now quoting and someone may one day quote me, but I doubt that: "In isolation, an idea may be quite insignificant, and venturesome in the extreme, but it may acquire importance from an idea which follows it...In the case of a creative mind, it seems to me, the intellect has withdrawn its watchers from the gates, and the ideas rush in pell-mell, and only then does it review and inspect in multitude."

Anything on your mind can come to the page, you can use dirty words and have dirty thoughts, you can hate the person you love because they don't understand you, you can admit that you didn't return someones call simply because you didn't feel like talking to them and the cell service had nothing to do with it, you can dream about mutilating your boss and drowning your cat and taking a telephone cord to the baby in the seat at the diner next to yours whose parents wont keep it quiet.

You can rape, lie, cheat, steal, hurt and be hurt, anything you wish. Or you can sit and admit that barbie isn't such a bad doll and that you secretly like to do ballet and maybe no matter how much the world thinks its just plain WRONG you never did like Rocky Horror Picture Show.

FreeWriting gives you the outlet, and from that you get to understand the ideas you have, the beliefs you posses, and when you want this absolutely horrid villain, you aren't left with a Saturday morning cartoon knockoff. Instead you have someone to fear, someone to hate, someone so incredibly abhorrent that even criminals will look at him and say "bastard needs to die already."

Some people don't like their subconscious, like to make believe its another thing, that its a monster down inside them, others like to pretend its a naughty animal sneaking around to do things when they aren't looking, or the leash is too slack. Me, it thinks its just...me. Maybe that's because I let it run wild a bit.

Ray Bradly said in his introduction to the graphic novel adaptation to his book Fahrenheit 451: "My subconscious is more complicated than I ever imagined. I've learned over the years to let it run rampant and offer me its ideas as they come.... When the time is right, somehow they coalesce and erupt from my subconscious and spill onto the page....the young writers should take care not to intellectualize or be self conscious or over-analyze their metaphors... let the metaphors race as fast and furious and freely as possible to that what is stirred up are all the hidden truths at the bottom of the writers mind."

I think far more writers, and people in general, would do much better once they read up a bit on Jungian Philosophy and Psychology. Particularly the Shadow Theory. In fact, here, this is a [link] Click it, read it, use it! Integrate it into part of your thinking and let what you are, what you will be, and what you wish to be emerge into your conscious mind.

A lot of psychopathologies come from packing shit away, repress some normal sexual urges, like say you enjoy giving/getting a little pain like being bitten or scratched or spanked in bed, and they become sexual perversions like cutting someone up, bondage can lead to rape, so on and so forth.

Take anger for instance, lots of little angers like someone taking the last bit of cereal or turning the channel or using up all the hot water, when you bottle them up they may explode as one big violent rage. Not saying you need to cut your sibling's head off because he won the bet and got the top bunk, but throwing a tantrum because said sibling is a known bed wetter is well within your rights. Jung said that to be empowered, to act with all our abilities and use our resources to the fullest advantage to us, we must be tapped into our shadows, connected, in touch.

We don't have to keep them as close as say our closest most dearest friend, or even our secret diaries, but treating our subconscious as that crazy relative you see on holidays and at family reunions but never bother calling is going to bite you in the ass when said relative is moving into your guest bedroom and you have to deal with it during every waking moment of your life.

And while I'm off writing all this stuff and posting it, someone, somewhere will say they like it, they enjoyed reading it, it was hawt, and I'll shudder because that is the darkest part of my brain and how anybody could actually enjoy reading it is disturbing. But maybe suppressing their like of it would be worse.

Sometimes I wish people wouldn't tell me they loved my works. Then there are the times too many people love my work and not enough people dislike it. I THRIVE off of criticism. I need to know what I'm doing wrong and what can be fixed, and I'm almost constantly stuck with editors who would rather spell check and get it over with instead of putting forth the effort and finding sentences that could be revised or dialogue that doesn't fit the character's way of speaking.

So really, while I'm going through all this and putting forth all this effort, you honestly think I'm gonna stop and REQUEST people comment and tell me what they think? Please, if you must, stay silent. I'd rather not know what you think actually. So many of my readers are so constitutionally unable to grasp the concepts of my writing, and I hate having to overly explain every gesture or nuance a character makes. I'm eternally condemned to simplify and simplify and simplify again because my reader's point of view is so incredibly alien and remote to mine that all my original intentions and reasons seem to never reach them at all.

This is why I'm slightly apprehensive of the way Photo Opportunities is going, but none of you will understand what I mean until at least three chapters off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Archive: [link]

Status Update: [link]
PO FAQ: [link]
~*~*~*~*

Clubs I'm in



~*~*~*~*~*~*

My art account:



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Random Announcement:

"The feeling that the work is magnificent, and the feeling that it is abominable, are both mosquitoes to be repelled, ignored, or killed. Not indulged."